I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
