Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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