using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
