whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
