I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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