Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize