Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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