maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
