Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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