i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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