I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
