Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
