Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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