oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
