her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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