I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
