help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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