hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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