the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize