I could have mohawked her pubes.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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