It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
