Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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