is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
