I want to make a zoo with you.
two words...techno handjob
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The Olympian is in my bed
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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