I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
its not stalking. its research.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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