I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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