Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
