Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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