fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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