I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
