i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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