I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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