jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
