Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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