i barfeds in our rink
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
