I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
