One girl and one boy is just not enough.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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