he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize