Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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