its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Will exercising make me less horny?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
