you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
