i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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