We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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