look no pants
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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