Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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