I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we're making bets on your personal life
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
