jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
