Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
