So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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