It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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