then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
COCAINE IS GR8
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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