Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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