she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize