she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
