I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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