"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
